click to read 6 feet down (1)
“What have you done?” “Is she de-?” I paused, pointing at her body, feeling completely helpless, paralyzed even as everyone gazed in awe of my emotional breakdown.
“I have let go again” I whispered, “It’s over.”
“It’s over…” I exclaimed as tears uncontrollably flowed from within.
Still feeling dumbfounded after a sequence of events, the head surgeon finally breaks the silence.
“Sir, can we help you?”
“We are in the middle of an operation, you can’t be in here!!!”
“Sir, stay with me” he shouted, rushing up to me as I was completely shut out from the present, slowly convicting myself of my miseries. I wasn’t even aware of what he was saying or what was actually happening anymore.
“I rejected love when it came knocking on my door and now she’s dead..”.
“I am responsible for it,” I said to myself, falling to my knees with my back was against the wall. I just kept staring into blank space. I couldn’t find the slightest sympathy for myself, causing me to steadily break down into an unstable mental state.
“Jesus Christ!” Pulling off is hand gloves.
“Someone please get an emergency unit up here, now!”
“We don’t want to be responsible for this man’s death.”
“Sir, please stay with me.” He shouted, trying to keep me conscious, repeatedly slapping my face as he looked straight my eyes.
“Sir”, he shouted again, but I was already unconscious.
“Sir, please listen to me, I know you can still hear me,”
“If you ever want to see your wife again, you need to wake up!!!”
“We can still save her…”indistinctly echoed into my ears, even though my mind was still very far away.
“She can still be saved”. Hearing that last statement echo again into my ears, I felt my heart beat jumpstart my brain cells back to life and I blinked. Just when I was conveniently embracing my miseries with both hands, I suddenly felt a force of repulsion, breaking away the sweet embrace. I had just blinked. Slowly regaining my consciousness, I tried to find the right words to say,
“Wait-What” still feeling dazed
“What did you just say?”
He replied, “she’s not dead yet”, “as a matter of fact, were trying to save her life when u came in.” I was overcome with hope. Looking intensely astonished, I managed to pick myself up with the support of the doctor, feeling alive and well again. Just before I could utter any more words, the head surgeon gravely insisted I leave the room.
“Sir you need to leave now so we can get back to saving your wife.”
“Every second wasted has implications.”
“Okay, okay, I understand,” I said, totally agreeing with him straight up, heading for the door. Just before I stepped out of the room, I took a looked back at Funmi with empathy, hoping she survives the operation. I just couldn’t bear the thought of losing her anymore.
“Sir, please lead the way”, said the nurse escorting me out of the room.
“She’ll be okay”, she said, patting my shoulder as she shut the door behind me.
The sound of the door shutting behind me really triggered so much anxiety that I was this close having a panic attack. It wasn’t easy trying to keep it together under that circumstance, so I decided to stop peeping; stepping away from the door when I suddenly heard a strange voice whispering really calmly to me.
“She wouldn’t want you to feel this way”
“Whatever happens, it’s not on you.”
“You need to understand that.” The voice calmly whispered. I turned around in search of the person talking, but there was no one. The corridor was technically empty. I mean obviously that floor had to be empty because people aren’t normally allowed on that floor except for the medical staffs performing the operations, but I felt like I wasn’t alone. Believing it was the influence of my panic attack, I took deep breaths to neutralize the feeling and in that process, I heard that same voice again, whispering…
“Don’t fight this”, “you need to let go.” “You have been more than strong for her”
“It’s time you let go.” I shut my eyes hoping to concentrate on keeping it together, trying to prevent another scene that same day, but somehow, in my heart, the calmness of that voice made me feel like I was yielding to a violent wave of the ocean concealed in the form of fear and panic. I felt like I was trapped in a wave, desperately battling for my survival, trying to figure out what I could actually do to save Funmi’s life. But soon I realized the current of that wave was just too strong for me to even battle, breaking me to eventually trust the flow to carry me ashore as the voice indistinctly echoed “you need to let go”. I swear I could feel the wave gradually overflowing my heart like I was thirsty for it. It was soothing to my soul in that moment, and I felt relieved.
“Sir, are you okay”, asked another nurse trying to wake me up from my sleep. I slowly opened my eyes back to reality, yawning like a new-born baby, ignorant about the fact that I had fallen asleep for several hours. It was confusing at first, trying to recognize the environment and then it hit me; I was still in the hospital. Fully regaining my consciousness within seconds, I asked after Funmi,
“How is she?”, “Is she okay?”
“Jesus! Your breath stinks,” she replied, covering her nose.
“Go freshen up yourself before I answer any of your questions.” She adamantly stated, looking at me with her professor goggles like I was a kid. It just naturally occurred to me not to disobey.
“Okay ma”, stretching my legs to stand up.
“Hurry, don’t waste my precious time”, she yelled.
“Okay, okay I’m going”
“Please, take it easy,” I replied, feeling threatened by the tone of her voice. I just didn’t like her at all, I mean; her presence alone indicated she’s the type of nurse that derives pleasure in giving out injections to patients. She wasn’t anywhere near beautiful or even close to pretty, as her makeup style was old-fashioned. Her eyebrows were drawn like two evil spirits about to collide, while her eyelashes were as long as the tentacles of Ayamatanga. Her chubby cheeks gave her lips an irregular shape even though her teeth sparkled whilst her figure is a no go area because I would clearly be insulting some mothers. It just felt like I was being punished seeing her face right after a really good sleep.
Coming out of the restroom, I heard a loud call from across the hall,
“Mr., ssss…” “Mr. Gbadebo”, it didn’t occur to me to respond since that wasn’t my name, but the voice kept calling. I turned my attention to where the voice was coming from and I just wasn’t surprised it was that same nurse. Feeling resented towards her attitude, I walked up to her.
“Didn’t you hear me calling you since?” She asked, squeezing her face.
“So you are the Romeo trying to save Juliet abi?”
“Tell me how you managed to beat our guards like that? “You must be a very strong man o” she continued with her concentrated Igbo accent, trying to lure me into gossiping.
Madam! “Where is my wife? I sharply reacted with a straight face.”
“Ahan calm down na, she has been transferred to the fifth (5th) floor.” “In fact, the doctor is waiting for you.” I guess she was also threatened by the tone of my voice this time. Stepping into the elevator, I became consumed by fear, clenching my fists, hoping for positive news. I started peeping through the doors, trying to locate the room funmi was transferred to and within seconds, the doctor came out of her room. “That has to be her room I said to myself”, hurriedly walking up to him, bombarding him with questions.
“How is she?” “Is she okay?”
“Is she recovering?” I asked, anxious to hear a feedback
The doctor replied with hesitation. “Sir, please come with me to my office.”
“Please be seated.” He continued…
“Sir, I’m sure you are very much aware Miss Funmi Daniels was recently diagnosed with lungs cancer and according to our medical analysis, she between two (2) to three (3) months before-. He paused to ask me a question.
“That reminds me, how are you related to her again?”
“I’m her husb-”
“I’m her lover.” “We’ve been in a relationship for almost a month now” I explained.
He asked me this because ever since Funmi was diagnosed, she has never for once had a friend or family member visit or accompany her to the hospital before. As a matter of fact, I will be the first on record to ever do so.
“Here are the results of her chemotherapy sessions over the last 3 months.” He said, explaining Funmi’s medical condition. Based on his explanation, the chemotherapy wasn’t working out for Funmi. He went on talking about how Funmi approached him, offering to donate her body parts, insisting on ending her own life in that very moment. But just before the operation was carried out on her, the medical reports from the tests conducted on Funmi indicated that her immune system had somehow miraculously bounced back, causing a remarkable improvement on her health status over the past few weeks. According to him, they conducted the tests three (3) times and the results were all the same. Apparently, Funmi was in a healthier state than she was four weeks ago when the last test was conducted. There was no medical explanation to back up her situation.
“After the operation, I am pleased to tell you that Miss Funmi Daniels is now in remission.”
“So what are you saying”, I asked with uncertainty, looking deeply into his eyes, sweating profusely.
“Hopefully within a short period of time, she should be cancer free, alive and well again.”
Happiness couldn’t describe how I felt, as the next breath I exhaled right after his statement made me feel like I was floating on the ocean. I was lighter than a piece of paper within. The thought of losing her to death gradually eliminated itself from my mind, and now I can actually surf the wave again. Now I’m thinking of what I can do to give her a life, now I have a chance to spend the rest of my life with her. I became lost in the imagination of our future together. That was the best day of my life.
She’s not going to die, I said, walking to her room.
Today, I tie the knot with Funmi, and in my hand is my vow I’m going to keep as we live happily ever after. I said to the listening audience at our wedding.
OLOLUFE MI (MY LOVE)
The Heavens created you and I to forever be together
Out of the entire population of the earth, you alone are my happily ever after
Thinking of the wonderful memories we share, I just need you to be my lover
And today become my bride and bear my kids. My dear olufunmilola.
I love every bit of you like I can hardly get enough
I feel every touch of your essence on my body no matter how delicate or rough
I realize the beauty of other girls compared to yours is absolutely nothing but a bluff
Concluding that your absence weakens my body system with symptoms like that of hiccough.
You are my life, my love, my breath and my most valuable property
It’s with you I wish to spend the rest of my life with; in riches or in poverty
Because you truly are a unique work of art, specially created by the Almighty
To fulfill a romantic lifetime together with me. This I believe is an already ordained prophecy.
Lazy Poet ©
thank you for your amazing comments in the previous posts, can’t wait to read what you’ll have to say at the end!